Honesty is what you need
Honesty is what you need
Happiness coming from an unexpected source at an unexpected time.
Coz in your eyes I’ll like to stay..
“You’re important to me”
PFFT. As if I’ll believe that.
i’ll never find another you
First of all, i don’t believe in any of this ‘its-11.11-make-a-wish-and-it-will-come-true’ kind of thing. Everytime i did this with someone i have always prayed about something i wanted instead of wishing for it. nevertheless, its a pretty date today!
trying my best but a part of my heart refuses to let go.
If you were going to walk out of my life, at least set me free
And this will be the first time in a week
That I'll talk to you
And I can't speak
Been three whole days since I've had sleep
'Cause I dream of his lips on your cheek
And I got the point that I should leave you alone
But we both know that I'm not that strong
And I miss the lips that made me fly
I’m an hour away from reaching the age of 18, sneaking a few minutes from studying time for tomorrow to take a break here heh.
I remember when i was 16 watching people around me turn 18 and being grateful that I wasn’t 18 yet and promised myself to enjoy myself before i turned that ‘old’. Now i’m just an hour away from it i feel that time has really passed so fast and maybe sometimes i haven’t made full use of it, but there were so many good memories in the past two years.
To be honest increasingly and especially this year i start to find birthdays so pointless because what does it mean to celebrate your birthday? remember the mark of the day you were born into existence and so? Maybe its meaningful so that you know who really cares about you. i dunno. my thoughts now are so unorganized i don’t even bother to punctuate my sentences properly.
Most importantly what does it mean to grow older? just because i’m going to be 18, doesn’t mean my problems go away, doesn’t mean my flaws in my character disappear, doesn’t mean my broken relationships with people i care so much about would magically heal, doesn’t mean…. you get the point.
i really wonder how much of all this ‘learning' i did this year in terms of knowing more of myself and the people around me and human nature and relationships in general really would contribute to making me a better person or living a better life. Even if i do become a better person or have a better life, what does it mean? I don’t contribute to anybody around me and even if i do, what does it even mean? i’m really at a point where i doubt the purpose of my existence, i know i’m here for something just that i don’t know what it is.
on to things about relationships, i realized that it is something so complex and fragile, do something wrong and someone gets hurt. care too much and things happen, care too little and things happen, and the thing is we never know how much to care because we don’t know how much or how little is just right. I guess the people that you manage to stay in a relationship are those who are willing to look past the mistakes you make in the relationship and value you more than anything.
I have a task at hand that i’m sure that i will be unable to achieve, yet i must try because if water can make a hole through stone one day i will be able to move your heart. its just that i don’t know how much am i giving up for you yet i want to give up everything for you. i wonder why it is so hard and so complex to understand relationship and emotions. sometimes people want to die for you yet you can’t accept them into your life, and sometimes when you try so hard to make someone understand you care, yet they don’t accept you in their life. weird. thats life i guess, something we can never fully comprehend.
I have a birthday wish which i know i would not come true anyway, short of a miracle. so really what is the point of having a birthday?
anyway i’ve finished all my ramblings that i want to spit out from my mind, going to take a bath and sleep. and hope tomorrow i wake up and something will make me feel happy truly, although i doubt that it would happen, as you can see from how i think about the pointlessness of birthdays.
One day there will be a person who will hold the broken pieces of my heart and tell me that it is everything she ever wanted.
but I see the light, I see the hope and I believe in miracles.
我们到底要冷静多久?
Really one of the best scenes I’ve seen in a while. Wonder how much thought and effort went into the movie and this scene in particular. Loved the lanterns!
You are my new dream.
(:
So exams are coming soon and I’m coping with the stress so far. Things are likely to get more and more intense from here. There is one thing more important to me however that I’m going to find out but I don’t really expect a good outcome. Fingers crossed and looking to the future.
Please just let me break down your walls.